Hipsters, Essex Gals & Grannies: If tube lines were people, this might be what they were like

TimeOut London have done it again with a HILARIOUS representation of the London Underground according to writer Katie Brennan and illustrator Alexandra Bucktin.

If the tube lines were people, this is what they reckon they’d be like:

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‘A zimmer-framed cranky old Nana who whinges every time she has to do anything. Her joints hurt in the winter and when she is out shopping, she pauses for a little sit down on all the low-rise walls outside the high-rise flats to watch the world go by with a disapproving glance.  She mourns the state of her neighbourhood and that no-one knows each other’s names. Says the phrase ‘it weren’t like this in my day’ quite a lot.’

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‘A twentysomething graduate. She’s slow to start and a bit bewildered and unstable. She feels like she’s just going round and round, not really making any sense of her life. Finds making big decisions really hard and panics daily when looking at everyone else who seems to know what they’re doing and are moving forward with their life. Hates her mundane job, spends most of her day on Buzzfeed doing quizzes/reading their lists about things from the 90s and can only dine out on vouchers but on the flip side, has the best friends in the world. She can’t wait to feel like her life has finally started.’

 

‘A toddler. No wait, it’s not even that, it’s a sperm. A mere twinkle in the winking eye of TfL. (Look closely. The eyes have it)’

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‘A learned Oxbridge chap who remains an elusive bachelor in high-waisted trousers. Loves vintage fairs yet hates sequins and anything too flamboyant. Hitches his tweed trousers (pressed) up before he sits down. Is oddly fascinated by East London and all the filth it promises but worries he’ll never quite fit in.  A boff. Ravenclaw.’

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‘A prick in a pub who drinks double jack and coke, cheats on his wife and whose shirt slightly trains at the stomach. Once paid £420 for a ropey blowjob in a brothel after a night with the lads. He’s pretty proud of it tbf. Works in middle management and cried at the office Christmas do last year when he saw the two fit girls from payroll cackling at his rendition of ‘Angels’ on the karaoke machine. Has a Chinese symbol tattooed on one bicep and a Celtic band around the other.’

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‘An overgrown, braying public schoolboy in banking. Uses a heady blend of Californian surfer and Cockney rhyming slang ‘ironically’ (“Bro! Take a ‘butchers’ at this!”) even though he’s never been near the real East End and when he was in LA all he did was go to all the places featured on ‘The Hills’. Secretly, he thought the Henley Regatta was better than the whole of LA. At 5.30 on a Friday he pops his collar up, orders a round of ‘bucas for ‘the boys on 4th’ and wakes up the next morning, peeling his clammy arm off of Crystal, the PA to the Directors on 6th. Really, really loves red trousers.’CentralLinebloodyhellbrennan.png

‘A dolly bird, who has ‘come up London for a day wiv the gells’. Wears four layers of fake tan and those double layered false lashes so that when she grins, she looks like a shiny orange camel and at the bottom of her hi-shine plastic nails there’s a few millimetres where they’ve grown out. Finds utter glee in wearing matching personalised t-shirts with ‘naughty nicknames’ on them – last time on Jade’s hen  she was ‘Little Miss PornStar ‘. #lol!!!!!!!!!!!!  Saves peoples names in her phone like this: ~x~Heavy black heartCherry blossomRabbit face My HuNnY BoO Rabbit faceCherry blossomHeavy black heart️~x~’

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‘A groovy, beardy, leftie, Guardian reading graduate with a lovely job in Digital Media  and an accent that makes girls knees shake. Dreams of barge holidays and going to Alex James’s farm for a cheese festival. Voted Lib Dem last time and hates himself for it. Has recently set up a micro brewery in his airing cupboard and grows hops in his small patch of garden in Highgate.’

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‘A foreheady Dad with a Volvo and two kids. Whilst he battles the ever growing bags under his eyes on the daily schlep to the City, the good lady wife does her shopping in Waitrose and then loads it into a 4×4 she only uses for the school run. Wishes that he had more energy to be cooler- debated going to Glasto in a yurt this year and taking the kids; instead opted for two weeks all inclusive in Tenerife.’

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‘Hipster. Debating whether their beard is cool or not anymore whilst sighing over the latest poem they’re tapping out on their vintage typewriter which they’ve carted to their local elusive, ‘I don’t give a shit’ coffee shop which throws in a free sardonic look with every flat white you buy. Only looks up when their vintage portable record player that they’re listening to with Beats headphones (What? They were an Xmas present okay?) skips.’

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‘Universally loved by all. Popular, good looking, funny and successful, this line all other lines fancy and want to be. This is the Will Smith/Michelle Obama of tube lines.’

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‘A clicky, gabbly snap-happy tourist gazing in wonder at London through the eyes of their shiny new Nikon. Thinks Jamie’s Italian is the same as Gauchos and that an Aberdeen Steak House is the finest in quality traditional British dining. Particularly loves Leicester Square, which everyone else knows is where souls and good taste come to die in amongst dancing life-sized M&Ms and overpriced flat pints in chain pubs.’DLRbloodyhellbrennan.png

‘A five year old smacked off their tits on candyfloss and toffee apples at the funfair BECAUSE WAH OMG LIFE IS SO AMAZING!!!!’
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Share this with all your London friends! Remember, which ever tube line you are travelling on, beat the heat and stay hydrated with your GiveMeTap bottle & water scheme!

kaffeinebuzz:

Yay! @GiveMeTap bottle arrived today. App downloaded. Ready for the heat of the Central Line. #london #summer #sustainability #water #africa #givingback

kaffeinebuzz:

Yay! @GiveMeTap bottle arrived today. App downloaded. Ready for the heat of the Central Line. #london #summer #sustainability #water #africa #givingback

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9 tips to exercise safely in the London heatwave.

  1. Make sure you start your workout fully hydrated. If you are setting off in the morning, you will be very dehydrated from not drinking for 8 hours. Try and have at least 500ml of fluid (a full GiveMeTap bottle) when you wake up before your workout. image
  2. Your body will always try to keep the levels of sugars and salts in your cellular fluid balanced. Just drinking water stimulates your kidneys to produce more urine to keep the concentrations of sugars and salts the same. This means it takes longer for you to rehydrate properly. Try adding some squash to your water!
  3. Take your bottle with you and if you have a long run, plan your route so you can fill up at a GiveMeTap refill point.  
  4. How much water you need depends on your sweat rate and how hard you are working. If you sweat a lot during work outs, remember that this means you need to replenish. 
  5. If you want to workout or run in cooler temperatures, try running earlier in the morning or later in the evening when the Sun isn’t at it’s peak. This way you won’t get as dehydrated.
  6. Be careful when running and training overseas as you will need time to climatise to your new surroundings. Give yourself a few days to get used to the environment.
  7. Do not push yourself harder when you are training in the heat. You may feel you cannot do as much as you could in a cooler environment, however, pushing hard could be a danger. image

  8. Covering up can prevent burning when the heat is intense. Try wearing synthetic sportswear that keeps you cool and dry while you train.
  9. Remember to protect your skin by splashing on some sun cream in exposed areas such as your neck and shoulders. 

Looking for a sports bottle to keep you hydrated while you work out? Try the GiveMeTap 600ml Bottle. Available with a pull up sports lid and a flip cap, you can get the perfect flow from our biggest bottle yet. 

Some mid-week motivation to get you though the week. 

Some mid-week motivation to get you though the week. 

SPOTTED! GiveMeTap on the London Underground!

Send us in your sightings of the GiveMeTap poster around the tube network. Get your bottle at www.givemetap.co.uk/tube!

SPOTTED! GiveMeTap on the London Underground!

Send us in your sightings of the GiveMeTap poster around the tube network. Get your bottle at www.givemetap.co.uk/tube!

Heatwave survival for Commuters - TapUp

MindTheTap: Fast Growing Social Enterprise on a mission to keep Londoners beat the heat on the Tube.

This summer, to combat the dangers of heat on the Underground, and reduce the 750 annual faintings, GiveMeTap has launched its own London hydration campaign called MindTheTap. Building on the TFL’s recent ‘Beat the Heat’ programme, GiveMeTap are creating a network of cafes and restaurants around major tube stations, where commuters and travellers can get free refills of tap water, on the go, with their stainless steel GiveMeTap bottle.

Faintings often occur due to lack of water facilities near the underground leaving commuters with the burden of splashing out on expensive bottled water or going without. Having access to free flowing tap water is a sure-fire way to help Londoners beat the heat and keep the underground running smoothly. 

When moving to London after University, GiveMeTap’s founder, Edwin Broni-Mensah, experienced first hand the difficulties with water accessibility on the underground and felt that something needed to be done to tackle dehydration. 

Edwin says “London is in the middle of a much-anticipated heatwave and we think it’s time people on the underground had better access to water, in a more sustainable way. At the same time, we’re helping thousands of people across Africa get access to clean drinking water.”

 As the Mayor of London tackles the issue of ventilation on trains, GiveMeTap aims to improve the possibilities for the public to make their own difference through a simple purchase. Water refill points, which GiveMeTap call ‘Taps’, can be found outside each of the stations, including the busy Victoria Line. Already, they’ve partnered with 150 taps across Central London who will happily refill GiveMeTap water bottles for free.

Over the coming weeks, GiveMeTap will be visible along the escalator panels in the hottest stations and the company states that it aims to have refills point within 400 meters from each Zone 1 station.  Finding your nearest Tap can be done with a few finger taps using their new App available on iOS & Android.

As a social enterprise, GiveMeTap’s social agenda does not stop at tackling heat exhaustion in the UK. For every GiveMeTap bottle purchased, GiveMeTap can provide clean water to a person in Africa. To date, GiveMeTap has completed 8 water projects in across the continent, providing over 4000 people with clean drinking water. Thousands of Londoner’s have already helped save lives by joining the movement including large corporates such as Deloitte, HSBC & Pizza Hut.

GiveMeTap’s vision of accessible water depends on the support of cafes and restaurants all around London. It would be great if cafes could follow the example of the 600 existing taps such as Blackfriars Wine Bar and Micycle in making this water network a success.  You can stay hydrated & help save lives at www.givemetap.co.uk/tube.

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How to make edible packaging.

Can you have your water bottle and eat it too?

Inspired by techniques from molecular gastronomy, three London-based Spanish industrial design students created Ooho, a blob-like water container that they say is easy and cheap to make, strong, hygienic, biodegradable, and edible.

Here is their video showing how to chow down on the blob which costs only 2 cents to make!

As reported by Co.Exist

It is awesome to see innovative solutions to plastic waste being discovered everyday. Edible Packaging is a brilliant move towards a truely sustainable product. However, I do wonder how the Ooho would live in my bag without bursting onto my Kindle!

Maybe this solution is better for home use, replacing plastic bottles in the fridge and for those people who don’t have access to quality tap water.

Sustainable solutions do not necessarily have to mean that bottle packaging has to disappear, but that the bottle doesn’t have to be disposed of to the detriment of our Planet. This is why solid portable solutions such as stainless-steel bottles may fare better on the way to work when placed in the same bag as your other prized possessions!

What do you guys think? Would you prefer to have something edible like Ooho, or a solution that could last you a long time?

Water changes everything: Mariget’s Story

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One of my favourite aspects of the GiveMeTap water projects is the community ownership through the elected water committee. An even more awesome part is how we ensure Women have a place at the decision table.

Mariget Wisdom is a female member of her committee and told us about the real sense of communal ownership of the water pump. People within Mariget’s community are trained to use, maintain and fix the pump so any future problems can be dealt with locally. This saves time, money & resources. It also teaches them skills and helps the village become self-sufficient.

The good quality of the water that is pumped through the Elephant Pump allowed the standards of hygiene within the community to really improve. Mariget explained how this meant she saves a lot of money on soap which she used to compensate for dirty water.

By having clean water access, women like Mariget are able to allocate their family’s resources in a more effective way. The also have the opportunity to become a key player in the health of the community as respected members of the water committee. 

Find out more about GiveMeTap

Happy Sunday!

6 stats that show how you save lives. Nice!

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You spoke. We Listened.

Last month, we surveyed our bottle holders to ask what they wanted to see from GiveMeTap. Overwhelmingly, Tappers wanted more updates on water projects & how their bottle purchase has made a difference.

 Here is our first ‘Mid-Year Impact Report’! A 1-page summary of all of our impacts so far. 

By purchasing over 25,000 bottles you guys have funded 8 water projects across Africa. How awesome is that?!

It’s so simple. When you buy a bottle, you save lives! Tell your friends, tell your boss & tell your nan. Help hydrate the World today. They can get their bottle at » http://bit.ly/19KeImC

Keep being awesome.
Edwin, Sanum & The GMT Team  xx